“You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails''. Whether you're a doctor, or a medical student that somewhere along your journey found yourself in the patient's chair, suffering from a chronic health condition (mental or physical). And as someone who is in that position, I can tell that these obstacles can be hard to cope with. Hopefully, I can give you some advice that will ease your way through it.but first, here's my story..
If you like stories with plot twists in the characters' life, this one's for you.. About a year ago I stopped playing sports and exercising after experiencing a severe pain in my upper left thigh, and after doing an X-ray it was thought to be nothing more than a muscle strain. According to the doctor's orders, I gave it some time and rest to “heal”. A year later, the pain became even more severe than it was, to the point that walking, running, or sitting down the wrong way hurt like a stabbing pain. I went to another doctor in my university hospital, who ordered an MRI for me that showed it was a slow growing, benign lipoma. I scheduled for surgery and I did it, they extracted the mass. Thankfully, I felt much better after, I could comfortably do my daily activities again, of course not instantly following the surgery, but about two months later.
At the time, my sample was sent to the histopathology lab for further investigation. And just when I thought I could finally go back to my normal lifestyle again, I got a text from my doctor asking me to visit the clinic. The following day I found out that it was something known as a “desmoid tumor” which is a benign slow-growing tumor that results from a very rare genetic mutation. I hope no one experiences what I had to go through, but life happens. And as much as we hate receiving bad news, we have to deal with it. I told you this long story, to draw an idea for you about what my experience was like, and how it led me to learn many things along the way that hopefully can ease your journey along the way if you found yourself in my position.
1. How to get through the “why me?” phase:
Of course, at first it was shocking. I did cry about it at first, but then it was over. I know you might think I was somewhat “heartless' '. But I try to train myself to receive life's surprises quietly. Believing that anything can happen anytime, anywhere. Remember, “You can't control the wind, but you can adjust your sails'' meaning it's not about what happens to you, it's about how you react to it. You can choose to turn this into a tragic story, or you can choose to not let it define you and instead turn it into an inspiration. Look at it from a perspective that god is testing your patience and resilience, and the way that god tests you is out of your control. Us muslims believe that this entire life is a test for our faith in Allah. Faith that no matter what good or bad things happen to us in this life, at the end of the day we will still say “ الحمد'' and keep going. I try to look at the bright side, God chose for me to strengthen my faith early on in life.
And remember this:
عمر بن الخطاب قال: "لو عرضت الأقدار على الإنسان لأختار القدر الذي اختاره الله لھ."
2. When life throws you lemons, make a lemonade
On the day of my surgery, the surgical residents and nurses were surprised by me. I was probably the only patient who was laughing and making jokes before entering the OR. I think half of the people in the clinic know me as the “medical student” or the “young doctor” now. One of them said to me “Oh, it's nice seeing a smile this early in the morning''. By this, not only did I improve other people's moods, those who woke up at 7AM to come to the hospital for my own sake, but I also freed myself from being stressed out and nervous or freaking out. Indeed, it was my first time having a surgery but I tried to be enthusiastic as much as possible, especially because my mom beside my bed was more nervous than I was.
We are in no control of our circumstances, but as I said before, you can let it be a tragic story and have it intimidate you, or you can take it as an inspiration. During my appointments and visits to the clinic, i tried to enjoy the process and not let it intimidate me. As a medical student, i had fun chatting with the doctors and consultants. These people go through so much, they see hundreds of patients, they evaluate cases, just like mine. And one day, you will be a doctor just like them. However, the unique thing about your story is that you sat in the patients chair first, you experienced the intimidating emotions, the stress, the tough times getting appointments and waiting in line. You saw it all, and one day, you will be in the doctor's chair, making it easier for your patients.
3. Forgive yourself, your growth might be slow, but certain.
I had to skip two exams in my 2nd year of medicine, the first one was a pharmacology quiz I had already studied for, but unfortunately it was meeting the same day of my surgery. The second exam was a pathology quiz (ironically, about neoplasia). At first, I wanted to challenge myself by pushing myself to study for the pathology quiz, in spite of being in the midst of a recovery period after my surgery, and I already had a sick leave not to attend the exam. I wanted to test myself. But at the time, my expectations were higher than my reality. As a result, I was disappointed in myself for not being able to finish preparing for the exam, even though I was hardly able to sit with my surgical wound, and being dizzy and nauseous from the anesthesia, I still tried to push myself beyond my limits. The only thing I got out of setting these impossible expectations was disappointment, and of course, a lesson learned. You're allowed to give yourself a break, to gain back your strength. You're allowed to be weak sometimes. Forgive your short-comings, especially when it comes to your health. You will have the right time to shine, but for now, healing is a process that requires patience, it's slow, but it's still growing. As long as you don't give in to the circumstances, and you heal, your growth is destined inshallah.
كتابة: Amal Saigal تصميم: Esraa Metwalli